Quick Update

Current Weight: 288
Down 18 Pounds since my last post….

Eating right.
Lots of working out.

I’ll check back again soon…. lighter

The Importance of the Water Bottle

No excercise today. My ankle is very swollen and bruised. I thought it best to let it heal properly rather than push myself and in turn prolong the injury.

One thing I learned today is the importance of having a great water bottle. I have a great one, it’s 32oz – two of those and I’ve met my water consumption. It’s easy to carry and makes my water readily available throughout the day.

I forgot my great water bottle at my sisters last night and as a result, I found that although I did meet my water goal for the day – it was definitely more challenging. I get busy at work, having to stop and take time to refill a 16oz cup becomes challenging when I have so much to do.

Moral of the story: Get a water bottle that works for you And by work, I don’t just mean that it holds and delivers water through an opening. I mean one that fits your lifestyle. One that will encourage and make it more feasable to meet your daily water consumption goals.

Food choices were good today. I stayed under my caloric needs. That makes me happy.

Overcoming the Sprain

I sprained my ankle on my way out of my house this morning. The pain was so great that I felt like I was going to pass out, I got really light headed and dizzy. My body just can’t take falls like that anymore without it really affecting me.

Today was an emotional day. I dealt with my former in less than desirables ways. I actually felt myself get discouraged and angry. However, as quickly as that feeling came – I took action to overcome it. I read over uplifting quotes, success stories, I read about the willpower of others and their desires to change. The positive outweighed the negative and I felt better.

I didn’t care if my ankle was sprained. Today, I had to go to they gym, even if it mean’t crawling to every arm machine. So after work, I went. Can’t say I had the best workout, the pain made it difficult to really push myself. But when I left I did so with a great sense of accomplishment. I did it. I didn’t let negative emotions, a hurt ankle or my discouragement keep me from doing what I know I need to do in order to succeed at this. I read somewhere that 80% of a weight loss journey is just showing up.

Today, I showed up for myself.

Damn the French Bread

Worked out this morning. Great workout, much easier than yeterday – although I know this won’t always be the case. I have to find ways to continuously push myself. If it ever gets easy then I know it’s time to step it up.

With the exception of resorting to a sandwich on white french bread for dinner, I feel great about my food choices this week. I felt a little guilty about the white bread, cause it was packed with calories – but nevertheless, its a learning process. I can’t beat myself up over it. The only way I’m going to succeed at this is by learning how to overcome little dissapointments and by getting up every time I fall. I realize I’ll have tiny failures here an dthere but If I keep at in then I’ll succeed in the grander scheme of things.

I may take a break from the gym tomorrow morning and go in the afternoon instead. Perhaps I’ll even skip the gym altogether and get my physical activity in by doing something else, like riding a bike, going on a walk, shooting some hoops. I don’t want this to feel like a chore. I want to have fun with it and make it a permanent part of my life.

My Daily Summary:
Meal Calories
Breakfast 449
Snack #1 25
Lunch 362
Snack #2
Dinner 942
Total 1796
30 minutes of activity: Yes
64 Oz of H2O: Yes

5:30am comes too soon …

It was difficult to wake up this morning, I was tired and wanted to sleep longer…. but I promised myself that I would go to the gym. I knew it was just mental sabotage, and since I made it a point to go to bed early I had already gotten 7 hours of sleep. I got up. I did it. Getting out of bed was the first step and as a result of that step all others subsequently followed.

I am tired of being fat. I am ready to change my life.

I worry that I´ll fail so I try to use it as an excuse to not try. I figured I can´t fail if I don´t try. The irony of that statement is laughable. I will FAIL if I DON´T TRY. Period.

I put in 30 solid minutes on the elliptical. It hurt but I did it. I wanted to quit at minute 15 – but I didn´t let myself. I pushed forward, motivated myself with thoughts of my goal, with thoughts about how all the work I´ll put into myself will show once my body starts transforming.

After the gym, I stopped at the grocery store and shopped for healthy veggies and other food. Having the rights food readily accessible at work is key. I got invited to go to Thai for lunch – one of my favorites. But I was armed with healthy lunch and in turn was able to turn down the offer to eat out. I´ll still eat out here and there, but right now my main focus is getting into the swing of things. Committing and in turn making this a healthy habit.

Dinner was delicious and healthy. All of my food choices today were healthy. I feel proud.

As far as hunger, I felt a little hungry some time after breakfast, but I calmed it with grape tomatoes until lunch came around. I made it a point to eat slow today, to chew my food very thuroughly, I find that doing so makes me feel more satisfied.

I am going to bed feeling a great sense of accomplishment. I feel proud of myself. I feel happy.

My Daily Summary:
Item Cals
Breakfast 364
Snack #1 34
Lunch 142
Snack #2 81
Dinner 404
Total 1025
30 minutes of activity: Yes
64 Oz of H2O: Yes

Oh my, this is embarrasing…

It’s me again – the fat girl.

AGAIN being the key word. How many times will I give up on myself before I succeed at winning this weight battle?

I gave up but I’m back. Although my progress as been nil and one could say that I’ve wasted time. There are still some positives worth mentioning.

1. My original weight back in the day was 345
2. My lowest last year was 295
3. My weight one month ago was 318
4. My weight last Friday was 306

I’m only 11 pounds heavier than I was last spring and I’m losing weight again so I find some encouragement in that.

So what’s different now?

1. I am under the care of my doctor.
2. I am currently working one-on-one with a registered dietitian.
3. I am seeking medical treatement for sleep apnea which will better my sleep and increase my energy.
4. My work launched a weight loss incentive program. If I can improve my BMI, cholesterol, blood pressure, and weight by 30% (combined) then I’ll receive a medical premium reduction for 2011 along with other prizes along the way.
5. I have reconnected with my higher power and he see’s me through my weak and difficult moments.

I’ve also started tracking my calories at https://www.myfooddiary.com – I was a bit skeptical at first, but the site is so easy to use and offers great tracking and reporting tools, projected weight loss and encouraging tips/forums. At $9 a month – I find it well worth the price.

A few important notes and promises I’ve made to myself:

1. I will engage in some for of physical activity for at least 30 minutes every day. NO EXCEPTIONS, NO EXCUSES.
2. Limit my alcohol intake to 1-2 beers every other week. No intoxication allowed (Unless it’s my birthday) I make terrible food choices when I’m drunk, and I over eat. I’m going to try to avoid alcohol all together but I figured I’d be reasonable and at least limit it.
3. Pay myself a compliment every day.
4. No romantic relationships. Not until I reach my desired weight. I lose myself in relationships, I forget myself. I have no one to blame but myself for that. It’s time for me to walk alone for a while.

Let’s hope and pray that this time…. my evolution will come full circle, sooner – rather than later.

Under 300?

It’s been a while eh? No, I’ve not been busy putting greasy food babies in my stomach, and no I’m not here to report that I’ve gained weight back like I have in the past.

Current Weight: 295
Down 50 pounds.
Finally, under 300 pounds. First time in years…. and I’ve done it all without pills, yo-yo diets, surgeries, injections or what not. I’ve done it with regular excersice and healthier eating. Yay me.

I’ll admit it, I’ve had a few moments where I’ve simply given into cravings, but it’s normal to do that I think – and as long as I get it under control then I know I’m ok. It’s good practice learning how to give in a little but learning how to recommit and get back on game. I think doing so will help me be truly successful in the long run.

I’m happy. For the first time in a VERY long time I can honestly say that I’M HAPPY. I’m still working out with a trainer, it’s hard somedays to push through the workouts but she keeps me extremely motivated. I still have about 120 to loose, but now it’s closer to 100 rather than closer to 200. I know if I keep at it, I’ll get there. I can’t wait.

Budgeting

Current weight 308 pounds.
Down 37 pounds total.

My trainer placed me on an 1,800 calorie budget. Of those calories…

30% have to come from Protein
45% from carbs
25% from fat

This is how I do this:

I track the amount of grams I consume of protein, carbs and fat. Then I convert those grams into calories. Since carbs and protein contain 4 calories per gram and fat has 9 calories per gram. I simply take the number of grams and multiply by either 4 or 9.

Say I consume the following in one day:

90g of protein
145g of carbs
32g of fat

This would translate to:

90 * 4 = 360 calories of protein
145 * 4 = 580 calories of carbs
32 * 9 = 288 calories of fat

Total calories: 1,228

I order to figure out what percentages of protein, carbs and fat came from those calories I use the following formula:

Portion of calories divided by total of calories times 100.

Protein: 360 / 1228 * 100 = 29.32%
Carbs: 580 / 1228 * 100 = 47.23%
Fat: 288 / 1228 * 100 = 23.45%

Total percentages should add up to 100%

So in this example I consumed 1,228 calories of which 29% came from protein, 47% from carbs and 23% came from fat.

I’d consider that a decent day except for I should have consumed more calories as a whole.

It’s taken a little bit for me to adjust myself to making these calculations, but I write everything down in a food journal and I also keep track of points in Weight Watchers. It’s not enough to simply write things and then not know how to make sense of them, so I study my logs daily, compare to previous days and look for ways to make improvements.

Another thing, it kinda sucks to keep track of calories but after a while you start getting use to it. If I eat something that has a nutritional value label I simply snap a picture of the label with my camera phone and log it when I get a chance, but that way I’m not having to rip labels of packages and stuff them in my pockets like I use to have to! LOL I also bought a calorie counting book that I take everywhere with me so that I can look up nutritional information on fruits, veggies, nuts and all of those other things that dont have labels.

This has to be a way of life for me. I have no option. Keeping track of nutritional values keep me aware of everything I put into my mouth. It makes me accountable to myself and in doing so it gives me a sense of control which I wouldn’t trade for anything. It may be a pain in the ass to count but I’d rather do that than continue to be fat.

“There is no easy way to anywhere worth getting to.”

A page from my food journal

My Gym

Weighed myself this morning:

311 Pounds.  

9 Pounds in 10 days.

I’ve been hitting the gym really hard.  Lots of cardio and weight training.  Lots of it.

My trainer hands me my ass everytime we train but I love the kind of soreness that I feel with each workout.   Silly to say but it makes me more confident each day.  Knowing that I’m doing something wonderful for myself.

At first, I was very intimidated with the gym. If I saw people there I wanted to just keep driving.  I pretty much forced myself to go and held on to the belief that I was just as entitled to be there as anyone else.  Fit or fat.   The way I see it now, if I don’t go – I’m only doing myself a diservice.   Every day, I go -  except for Fridays.  

Danny, the guy that works the front desk – he cheers me on every time he see’s me.  High fives, “way to go”, “keep up the great work” and on one particular day when I almost talked myself out of going, he gave me a hug a soon as I walked into the gym. “You’re doing so wonderful” he said.    It’s amazing how small gestures like that can brighten someones day.  He definitely made mine.

I love Anytime Fitness.  I love how I feel there, I love what I’m doing for myself.  I love the people there. 

It’s my gym

Goals

Weight Today:  320

Lost 5 pounds since last Sunday. Worked out for two hours everyday but Friday.  Both cardio and weight training.

I continue on weight watchers and I love it.

I met with my personal trainer to discuss goals and I set various short term goals.

My first goal is to loose 45 pounds by the end of March.

Second goal:  to be under 250 pounds by my 32 birthday on August 19th.

Third goal:  be 210 or less by the end of  2009

My ultimate weight goal is to weigh 17o or less which my trainer said I could reach by spring/summer 2010.

In total I plan to loose about 150 pounds.  Pretty much a whole person I’ve been carrying around for far toooo long.  Won’t it be nice!

If I stick to my cardio and strength training combination, not only will I be able to reach my ideal weigh in 17 months but I can also have a flat stomach and definition in my arms, shoulders, legs and back.  Meaning I won’t be just a blubbery mess of skin.  LOL

The nice thing about the week was that I didn’t feel like I was on a diet.  I’m not on a diet.  I eat healthier, smaller quantities and to the point where I’m satisfied not so full that I can’t breath. ha.   I feel so energized and above all, I feel so happy.  I love this feeling.

My sister, niece and nephew continue to attend the gym with me and are a huge source of motivation.

PS:  I haven’t drank soda or carbonation of any kind since the beginning of the year.    I’m especially proud of that.