Current weight: 315.00
I’ve only lost 1 crummy pound in almost 2 weeks. ONE!
I’m so frustrated. What’s worse is that I honestly feel like I’ve been doing good. I started keeping a food journal, counting calories and keeping under 1,900 calories per day. I work out at least 4 times per week, cardio and weights. I’m trying really hard to believe that maybe I’m building muscle and so the scale isn’t showing the progress as well as I’d like it to. But even with muscle I would think that at 315 pounds I should see significant weight loss. I want to cry. 
On a positive note: I feel really, really good. I’m starting to fit into shirts that I haven’t worn in a while because they were too snug. I feel like I have more energy and I’m not so terribly moody anymore. I feel happy which I haven’t felt in a long time. I’m grateful for that. My heart still has quite a bit of mending to do but as I continue to love myself I let go of pain and resentment more and more each day. I need this. I don’t think I could continue living if all I had was the pain.
So….maybe counting calories isn’t the best way to go about this. I’ve switched to Weight Watchers, effective today. It’s worked for me before and although I hate counting points I’m already counting calories (that aren’t working) so why the hell not count points (that have worked before)? Right. I also need to do better about making healthy choices in food over the weekends. I don’t overeat but I don’t eat the usual healthy salads, fruits and protein that I eat during the week. At least with Weight Watchers I feel like I can eat anything as long as I stay within points and guidelines. I realize a lot of this whole weight loss process is mind over matter. If I can continue to keep a positive attitude then I know things will eventually go in my favor.
A few other good things:
1. I’m having brachioplasty surgery on June 26th 2008. I’m nervous but excited.
2. I’ve taken up a bit of jogging/running and I find that I really enjoy it. Even though It makes me quite sore, I love being outside – it’s so liberating. I plan on really focusing on improving my endurance.
3. I want to run a half marathon next year. It’s definitely possible as long as I put in the work.
4. I’m really enjoying the supplements. The pills are crap but the Cytomax and Whey Protein give me an added boost in the mornings.
5. I took “Before” pictures of myself a couple of weeks ago. I can’t wait to compare them to “After” pictures as I continue through this weight loss journey.
TO DO THIS WEEK:
– Take my body measurements.
I’m going to continue to do weights and resistance training. If it won’t show on the scale right away then at least I’ll have measurements to track my progress with.
- Stay positive in attitude and in internal dialogue.
